Pen's Blog
Hazbin Hotel Confounds Me
Jan 19, 2024
I watched the hazbin hotels first episode since it's up on youtube. The amazon prime version, not the pilot. Theres some things I like, but theres also things I hate.
The episode starts with a recounting of Genesis from the bible, and it's like... we get the concept. Everyone who speaks english knows about genesis, except michael what lives in a cave. AND THEN, they do ANOTHER intro, which is an in-universe commercial for the hotel.
WHY ARE THERE TWO!? WHY IS ONE OF THEM SOMETHING EVERYONE KNOWS?! WE DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT LUCIFER TRICKED ADAM AND EVE (also Lilith i guess)! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT ALREADY, AND THE THINGS WE DONT KNOW (like lilith), CAN BE EXPLAINED IN WAY BETTER WAYS!! LILITH IS LITERALLY THE MAIN CHARACTERS MOTHER, YOU DONT NEED AN INTRO TO IMPART THAT INFO, HAVE THEM MENTION IT AS AN ASIDE! SHOW DONT TELL??? MORE LIKE: RECOUNT SOMETHING EVERYONE KNOWS WITH TWO MINOR ADDITIONS THAT COULD BE PUT ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE EPISODE!! It's fucking embarassing. THEY LITERALLY NAMEDROP LILITH LATER IN THE EPISODE, IT'S AN IMPORTANT PLOT POINT THAT SHE WENT MISSING! WHY IS SHE IN THE INTRO?! As for the angels slaughtering hells denizens because of overpopulation, THEY COULD HAVE JUST PUT THAT IN THE COMMERCIAL!! FOR THE HOTEL! WHY IS THERE A RETELLING OF GENESIS!? I am a busy woman who does not like her time to be wasted!
Did you ever want a spider themed character that's even MORE POORLY handled than Vriska?! ANGEL DUST CAN BE REPLACED WITH A FUCKING DILDO, NOTHING WOULD CHANGE! THEY ARE ONLY HERE TO BE HORNY! I know the point is that they're all in hell and therefore they're bad people, BUT A CHARACTER NEEDS TO BE MORE THAN (SEX JOKE)! I did like the music, and I found it funny that adam is a frat bro. The actual plot of the episode seems pretty solid Alistor is his creepy fucking sexyman shtick its just... angel dust is a cardboard cutout, and that really annoys me. Additionally, the episode seems crushed for time, like they're moving at way too fast of a pace. Maybe they shouldve cut the two minute intro thats completely fucking unnecessary because everyone knows what genesis is!
The double intro is just such a travesty to all of my writer's instincts that it's all encompassing for me, and I cant think about anything relating to the show other than the incredibly odd decision to have two intros, one of which is the most famous story in the ENTIRE FUCKING WESTERN CANON!
It boggles the mind!